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What's in a name |
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 (for GRAPHIC Feb, 28, 2005)
by Krip Yuson
I bet that by the 2010s, classrooms will be hailing a bunch of LeBrons during
roll call. As “The Chosen One” among the NBA’s latest young superstars, LeBron
James seems to assure continued ascension as Michael Jordan’s “Air Apparent” —
and this should dawn on more and more sports-inclined fathers. So it’ll be
LeBron de la Cruz, LeBron Ramos, LeBron Lee, LeBron Arespacochaga, LeBron
Tamondong and a host of other King James wannabe’s appearing in civil registry
records throughout our islands.
Oh, sure, there’ll also be a Yao Ming Yaptinchay and a Rashard Leviste, a Dwyane
Wenceslao and an Antawn San Diego among the Greenhills half-courts for tots, or
signing up for cubs and midget teams. Speaking of which, re those last two
monickers, yup, they’re not misspelled. That’s how the fresh All-Stars Dwyane
Wade and Antawn Jamison have their names, courtesy of mothers who likely
suffered from spelling woes, as they’re pronounced as in Dwayne and Antwan,
respectively, Hope this doesn’t sound racist, but you know how ghetto moms are.
They sure can come up with spectacularly original names, but occasionally botch
up the passage from verbal to print.
So many fresh names, in fact, can be mined and replicated from the roster of NBA
players. Shaquille is downright lovely as a name, although at first blush one
would associate it with a girl. Years of “Shaq Attack” and the antidote
“Hack-a-Shaq” have of course disabused our minds about any feminine connotation.
As an original, Shaq or Shaquille may soon join the ranks of heavy replicants in
the same manner that Marlon and Elvis, white if blue-collar names, have enticed
thousands of parents all over the world to lay them on a firstborn’s forehead,
since the Fifties. For the decade of the Noughts, however, I imagine that
Britney has now become a popular choice for darling daughters. Or Norah with
that oh-so-enhancing “h.” To be sure, we’ve played that borloloy game ourselves
since long ago.
To wit: Behn, Iskho, Khryss… And we’ve also sought and obeyed the numerologist’s
counsel, for stronger fortune, as did writers Alfrredo Navarro Salanga (bless
his soul), Jullie Yap Daza, and Jolicco Cuadra. Baguio’s pioneering filmmaker
Eric de Guia adopted the pseudonym Kidlat Tahimik, thence christened his first
son Kidlat, his second Kabunian, and his third Kawayan. Hail the memory of the
Katipunan! That reminds me. Old buddy Emmanuel Lacaba, the terrific young poet
(bless his soul), managed to get his wife Lalli’s approval to name a daughter
Miriam Manavi Mithi Mendiola etc, while nicknaming another as Emanwelga.
Hmm. Much better than what he had threatened jocosely, to me, in private: to
follow up a Concepcion with prequel sorts in the form of a Copulacion and a
Fornicacion.
Otherwise, we’ve made do with echolaliac nicknames as what a British observer
recently remarked upon as being more than remarkable: Bongbong, Noynoy, Tintin,
Tingting, Kringkring, Chin-Chin… Then we have pet names that sound so tropical
chic but would otherwise raise eyebrows in the sex-oriented Western world: Dong,
Snooky, Mookie… Well, they have their own popular Tricky Dick anyway, right? And
once upon a time, an NBA player named Kiki Vanderweghe had our sportscasters
tittering all over the place, just as they did at every mention of Indonesia’s
chess master Utut Adianto.
In any case, some local favorites continue to prevail, and make it an easier job
for census takers: Jose and Josephine, Pablo (now Paolo or Paulo) and Paula,
Miguel and Gloria… Oh, and all sorts of Cristina variations. A few years ago,
upon realizing that most of my guy pals had had a Christine for a girl friend,
true love, or fatal attraction, I was inspired to write a poem titled “Every Man
Must Have a Christine,” where I randomized all the possible garden variants. An
excerpt: “… each/ of whom has had a fateful thrust or/ stab at romance with a
C/K ending in e/a:/ Christine/a, Kristina/e, Kirsten, Chris, Kris — / the
vagaries of variations are as vulnerable/ to the pinpoint as their, my, next
virgin….// Our theater/ must have hundreds of cicatrices, Crises Villonco/
Millena Michelena, our fashion our Espiritu,// crisscrossing history’s krises
and kampilan, wavy/ blades, scythes, scimitars, serpentine as the course/ of the
mother boat Maria Cristina…// … wanton as
the ditty, Titina, My Titina — / even as the Fifties sang of chrysanthema./
lullabyed for decades hence the chrysalles./ Cry me a river, cry me a
Christine.””
Oh, what one can get away with in poetry, though poetry. Heh-heh. Just as how we
apply the usual tricks in naming our Dicks and Pedros, our Rosannas and Roxannes…
From Cyrano de Bergerac, these immortal lines: “Your name is like a golden bell
hung in my heart. And when I think of you I tremble, and the bell swings and
rings: Roxanne, Roxanne.” A century later, Sting calls out the same. Now if only
he had, like Prince, a proper name.
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Posted on Monday, February 28 @ 14:42:50 CST by don |
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